Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Gugglebaaack!!! (Before Time)-this Xmas

(by Jaden Keene, his closest human friend, and Special Boy)

I still, I still can't believe-GUGGLEBAAACK!!! NOOO! I can't believe he's gone! The greatest of all the Star Lords, and staunchest enemy of all the Transgressorobots, he's...Gone, I can't believe he's gonnne !!!

Born to a gang of Cosmotolodrots in the Septi Bar-None system, he found a master star race of star warriors! The Star Lords! They became Space Champions of the UltraBotVerse! They came to bring light to a little known planet...Named 'Earth'!

But along the way, they encountered a vile legion of Space Villains named the Transgressorobots, who hated the Star Lords, and laughed evilly at Mankind's Civilization! They wished doom on mankind, and if only for the Star Lords, we were held in waiting for armageddon! Then- on a dark and dreadful day, he encountered his nemesis, the evil intergalactic demon, Teledress!


Ah, ha- it is I! Teledress, of the Trangressorobots! You Earth-weak-lings are DOOOMED! I thought that mayyybeee that Space Fool, Guggleback, might give you some false hope, but we flushed him into ultero-space, from which he will never return, as far as anyone knows! Prepare to serve your new temporal masters- WE, THE TRANSGRESSOROBOTS!

When we found him, at the Lost Thrones of Khaleamotee, he wept like a slovenly Space Woman, and begged for mercy! HE FOUND NONE!

Wait a minute: if, as you say, you met him at the Lost Thrones, then that means...GUGGLEBAAACK! There's no way you could have killed him, you douche! When surrounded by the ancient and magestical Thrones, he was unkillable! So that means there's hope! GUGGLEBAAACK! It's JA-DEN! I'M HEEERE!

What have you done with him? What have you done with Guggleback? I'll get you for this! I'll get all of you, and you'll see! You can't kill the special love that lives between a Star Lord and his Special Boy!

When all the Earth people hear that their lord and defender lives, they'll rise up against you and your evil plans! They'll join forces with Guggleback! And the Star Lords! They hate you! You stink! And that'll teach you to mess with New York City, too! Haven't we been through enough lately?

So just take a hike, Tele-douche! It's payback time!

(sigh...) Okay, look Caden, or whatever your stupid name is: he wasn't your real dad, okay? That dubious title is held by one Ernie Blastock of 522 North Overcourt, and is really wondering where the hell you are.

And look; I'll say it, okay? Everybody knows, alright? I think it pretty much fools no one at all, his lengthy training courses in "space telegraphy" or whatever were both expensive and sounded a hell of a lot like something some pedophile Den Father of the Space Scouts would come up with. I think maybe instead of being mad at me, you should be looking into filing charges.

Uh...No. NOOO!!! You don't fool me, Teledress! Your Space Lies are too little for the thing we have! It's a thing you can't kill with your laser rays and gamma beams! He's gonna come back! He's gonna make it! He's gonna...GUGGLE-BAAACCCKKK!!!

I...Teledress? Do you need a Special Boy?

(etc. etc.)

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